Adventures With E-Mail

The winter solstice has come with no cold, no snow as in past years. But we have rain enough to suggest an ark, as harsh as snow and ice. Isolation by space and weather makes my computer a bosom buddy. Endless unsolicited E-Mails offer me everything from a new roof on a house with a new roof to lowered interest on a credit card debt I do not have.

It has become routine to call up E-Mail, scan, sort and delete . But today was a different day.  I stared at the E-Mail inbox screen:
                               HAPPY 80th BIRTHDAY
                               HAVE A GREAT 80th BIRTHDAY
                                                  Repeated several times.
These genial messages were followed by:
TRANSFORM YOUR BUST LINE INTO A LARGER AND MORE APPEALING LOOK

My loins tingled -- not from bladder leak I hoped.
My heart raced -- not from A-Fib I prayed.
Did I dare hope that help was available for breasts that look like shriveled grapefruits suspended in stretch socks attached to my chest?

I need to get to a book store and buy books to keep me occupied. This rain might very well become snow and ice in January