Know Why We Women Need Controlling?

   Last week I had lunch with four women, all remarkable in their own right. And I do not use word 'remarkable' lightly. Weekly topics of conversation run the gamut of mundane dinner menus, aches of body and spirit self inflicted and outwardly imposed, political and economic health of us and the country.

   During this two hours of minimal eating and maximal talking we arrived effortlessly at the psychological plight of women. Psychological being the critical word.
   "Would you believe she said her husband allowed her to--"
   "It's societal tyranny."
   "There are more women doctors now and more and more men are going into nursing.  What does that say?"
   "Check the salaries. You'll find doctors are making less and nurses more."
   "You know what they-- whoever they are-- always say. If you want salary increases for a profession, let men take it over."

   Later at home with refreshed spirit I settled in reading a nearly finished book, O IS FOR OUTLAWS. Kinsey Millhone was on the verge of learning who shot her ex, Mickey Magruder. Julia pushed her way into my consciousness. I might have dealt the Emperor's impulsive daughter had not Cartimandua and Tanaquil joined her.

   Julia, who rarely lacked a 'leaning in' that promoted confidence and control, did just that. She leaned in. "Have you ever thought about what it means to be a woman?"
   No one ventured an answer.
   "Then let me make a suggestion. How much time do we cover? Tanaquil from 600 BC, Carti from 1 AD, and me-- more or less the same time as Carti. And you Jewellee 2000AD. Easily 2600 years."
   Tanaquil, adept at listening but abrupt in her objections said, "Your point?"
   "My point," Julia's voice harbored resentment "is that little has changed in 2600 years."
   "You're wrong," I said, "Dead wrong."
   "How?" a simple one word from Julia is indeed rare.
   "How? Well today women can be whatever they want." Her shrill laugh filled my mind. "No, it's true. They can."
   "Do you really believe that? Oh it's true they can do many things. Like be doctors, who as has been pointed out earn -- exactly how much?"There is so much more involved in this. As you yourself know and have said, Jewellee. Can I ask you to share with us something you, yourself, wrote. And I assume you believe what you wrote and think it is of some value."
   She insisted I share a passage from my book about her life, and she was quite specific about what part. Here in it is.

Julia was attending a party of her closest friends.

'Julia was surrounded by men of the aristocracy,their wives who mistrusted her and envied her ability to hold court. She moved away from Alliaria and Marcella, chatting about children and household matters. Her father had taken her children from her, and accounts of children's antics reminded her much she missed Gaius and Lucius and the girls. And Posti. He was so little and so needy of a mother's love. Sometimes she thought it her fault, but knew her efforts to be a mother met only obstacles from Augustus. She held up her cup to the slave approaching with wine. Lowering her refilled cup she peered into it and held it out again. "For Juno's sake, fill it up." As she lowered the cup filled to the brim, wine flowed over the sides onto her stola. "Ye Gods," she said. "I've made a mess. Just look at me."
   She waved away offered napkins. "I'm quite all right. Lucky for me Tiberius isn't here. He already thinks I'm a drunken wench. He seems not to notice how fond he is of drink. But that doesn't matter. According to Tiberius men can do things women should never do" She surveyed her audience, sipped her wine. "Why are you men so insecure that you have to keep us in our place?'


   So Julia said as I finished reading the passage. Have things changed. Or do men still feel the need to be in control? And how can they be in control but to control us?

The Carvetii Prince

Julia would have left Cartimandua's story hanging in limbo. But both Tanaquil and Jewellee urged her to continue.  "I could talk hours on end and not do a better job that Jewellee did in her account. Let usw hear the rest of her account. What more could do better? 

Cartimandua's initial meeting with the Cartvetii prince, if that was what he really was,  left little doubt of her plans for  what she considered the  interloper. Thus her account!!

               *                   *                     *                            *                *

When Venutius came from the Carvetii as a foster son to her father she welcomed him with less than enthusiasm, fearing he would fill a place in her father's attentions she was loathe to share even with her brothers. She certainly could not appreciate some upstart from some far away uncivilized tribe.  How come, she often wondered during those years, were people to the north so much more savage than those to the south.  Was it indeed true that the Romans brought with them this civilization.  That first day she met Venutius burned in her memory.

Properly bathed, appropriately dressed, hair neatly braided, she appeared as summoned to her father.  Venutius stood shy, with lowered eyes, looking smaller than she was later to learn he really was.

"Sleek.."  Noticing her wince King Orain smiled broadly and began again. "Cartimandua,"  he said quite deliberately.  "Cartimandua, this is Venutius.  He comes to us from the Carvetii and will be here for a time yet to be determined.  You will treat him, at first, with he respect due a visitor.  Later you will grant him the status of family member. With the gentility I know you are capable of."  He ignored her rolling eyes and tightly drawn lips.

She reddened as she eyed her new foster brother and relished in his blushing also.  "You will," her father said slowly and emphatically, "consider him as one of the family and treat him as one of your brothers.  Do I make myself clear?"

She nodded hoping the warmth in her cheeks did not appear as red as it felt. "Yes sir."

"Yes sir what?"

"Yes sir, I understand."

"And you will not try to incite your brothers against him.  As you have been known to do."

How did he know?  Was she that transparent?  Had he found out she plotted endlessly against the last foster son?  Daringly meeting his stare she said, "Yes Sir."

Orain looked from Cartimandua to Venutius and back to his daughter.  Finally he smiled.  "I see we understand each other. Perhaps you will now show Venutius around.  Introduce him to your mother and the boys."

"Yes Sir."  She made no effort to move.

"Today."  He left her alone with the interloper. She glared at Venutius. He would be short lived as were the others.  But she would be more careful this time.

Venutius stood silent and motionless, not responding to her steady gaze.  Sensing she was in complete control she grinned.  "Want to meet my brothers?"

"Right now?"  He raised his eyes only to drop them again.

She felt her power.  Venutius was going to be easier than the last one.  He was hers. He would be clay to be molded as she chose. 

   Julia, as was her inclination, objected vigorously to Cartimandua's account of her pending meeting with the exchange student warrior her father, King Orain had agreed to take in. After a first, then a second and finally a third complaint from Julia, Carti said with some force.  "Why are we agrueing about this? We know-- you Julia as well as Tanaquil and Carti- that our fame lies with Jewellee.  It is, after all, she who has worked to make us known to the world as it is in her time. I suggest that instead of listening to me - which I am aware that Julia resents- we read Jewellee's account of that meeting. It is available in the ROMAN CELTIC. QUEEN. So shall we cease thebickering and read it?"

   Julia with reserve agreed. 

   "So Jewellee regale us with the rest of Carti's meeting   with the young Venutius..
     

   Thus Jewellee's account. .

          When  Venutius came from the Carvetii as a foster son to her father she welcomed him with less than enthusiasm, fearing he would fill a place in her father's attentions she was loathe to share even with her brothers. She certainly could not appreciate some upstart from some far away uncivilized tribe.  How come, she often wondered during those years, were people to the north so much more savage than those to the south.  Was it indeed true that the Romans brought with them this civilization.  That first day she met Venutius burned in her memory.

            Properly bathed, appropriately dressed, hair neatly braided, she appeared as summoned to her father.  Venutius stood shy, with lowered eyes, looking smaller than she was later to learn he really was.

            "Sleek.."  Noticing her wince King Orain smiled broadly and began again. "Cartimandua,"  he said quite deliberately.  "Cartimandua, this is Venutius.  He comes to us from the Carvetii and will be here for a time yet to be determined.  You will treat him, at first, with he respect due a visitor.  Later you will grant him the status of family member. With the gentility I know you are capable of."  He ignored her rolling eyes and tightly drawn lips.

            She reddened as she eyed her new foster brother and relished in his blushing also.  "You will," her father said slowly and emphatically, "consider him as one of the family and treat him as one of your brothers.  Do I make myself clear?"

            She nodded hoping the warmth in her cheeks did not appear as red as it felt. "Yes sir."

            "Yes sir what?"

            "Yes sir, I understand."

            "And you will not try to incite your brothers against him.  As you have been known to do."

            How did he know?  Was she that transparent?  Had he found out she plotted endlessly against the last foster son?  Daringly meeting his stare she said, "Yes Sir."

            Orain looked from Cartimandua to Venutius and back to his daughter.  Finally he smiled.  "I see we understand each other. Perhaps you will now show Venutius around.  Introduce him to your mother and the boys."

            "Yes Sir."  She made no effort to move.

            "Today."  He left her alone with the interloper. She glared at Venutius. He would be short lived as were the others.  But she would be more careful this time.

            Venutius stood silent and motionless, not responding to her steady gaze.  Sensing she was in complete control she grinned.  "Want to meet my brothers?"

            "Right now?"  He raised his eyes only to drop them again.

            She felt her power.  Venutius was going to be easier than the last one.  He was hers. He would be clay to be molded as she chose. TIME WOULD TELL.

                     

  

     

Cartimandua's Childhood

   Sometimes I feel that people who might stumble on this (As the gods must know I am living in a fool’s world if I think anyone will stumble one this) --. Nevertheless I do wonder if someone did inadvertently find it, they might think I have taken leave of my senses.   What sane person would regularly communicate with long dead people?

   But to me Julia, daughter of the first Roman emperor:  Tanaquil, the wife of the Roman King Tarquin; Cartimandua, the Celtic woman leader.  To me they are real.  In my imagination we reach across time and space .  We see each other; we talk. to each other; we like each other. And most importantly we tolerate each other.

   So it was when Julia, visibly upset by my story, urged me to talk of something else. Carti was there, not so gently chiding Julia. “I liked Jewellee’s  story about the little girl who no doubt is Jewellee herself. I was a little girl too once, and I have my own little girl story.” She ignored Julia’s exaggerated  sigh and began.

   I was barely nine when mother grasped my hand so hard it hurt. She dragged me to my father, King Orain. ‘This child needs tighter reins. Just look at her.’

   And I was a sore sight. My tunic was encrusted with creek silt; my hair infested with burrs and seeds from the weeds I crawled through trying to creep up on a nesting goose.

  ‘Well Sleek Pony, what do you have to say for yourself?’ I watched Father’s face soften as he looked at me. I knew I was his favorite.

   I rolled my eyes. ‘I have a name. Sleek Pony is for a baby.’

   He scowled. ‘And from the looks of you, it appears you are very much a baby. Tell me, Carti, if I must call you that, where have you been? Everyone’s been out looking for you. I suspect there is a reasonable answer—‘  He stared directly into my eyes. ‘or not.’

   ‘But I..’

   Father cut me short. ‘Your but I matters but little at the moment. Had I time we would explore your behavior, which I must say is not exactly becoming to your station. But now is not the time. Today we’re receiving a guest. Now get yourself cleaned up.’

   My spirits rose.  ‘The Roman peddler?’

   ‘No not the peddler. It’s a young man from the Carvetii. He’s to live with us for a while.’

   ‘Not that. You know how much I hate the stupid boys you take in. They’re dirty and mean.’

   Father laughed without restraint. ‘And you’re clean and sweet?’ He ran his fingers over my burr filled hair. ‘Now Sleek…’ I grimaced and he continued.  ‘Now Cartimandua, you know we have agreements with the Federation. And remember that your brother just last year left for his stay with the Carvetii. Would you have me go back on the agreement? Just what would that mean? ‘ I was forced to look away. ‘And  while you’re thinking about that, wipe that grimace from your face and determine to be civil. Who knows you might just like young  Venutius.’

   I nodded but vowed secretly to hate this new interloper. Could he be any different from the others? They were all the same--- boring, ugly and far from any one a sensible person would want as a friend or lover or the gods forbid a husband.  Overly confident, one after the other they came, from one tribe or another. This new Carvetii would be no different.  And I, a mere girl, a daughter of the king, had no choice but to accept him.

   Out of Father’s sight I ran,  not  to the nursery as ordered, where Gerae no doubt waited with towel and water. Instead I ran to the tannery shed where Cluer, the tanner, greeted me effusively. ‘Carti, you’re out of breath.’

   I drew in my breath and exhaled loudly. ‘Another dumb boy, a prince or something is coming. Like the others and I have to be, as Father calls it, civil.’

   ‘And what is wrong with being civil?’ Cluer looked at me with narrowed eyes. ‘There would be a lot less bloodshed if more people were civil. Tell me, Carti, what could it hurt to be civil to this young man?’

   ‘Uck. How can you say that? They’re all so dumb.’

   ‘Dumb. And what does that mean? You sound like a ten year old brat.’ I rolled my eyes. ‘Speaking of dumb,’ he continued, ‘how dumb of me. Of course you’re not a ten year old brat. You’re a nine year old brat. Why not give the boy a chance? You might just like him.’

   I lowered my eyes, tried to force tears which would not come. Then I turned ands ran from Cluer’s shed. I would not like that idiot from the Carvetii. I would not

   Carti fell silent. I was mesmerized. Even Julia had hung on her every word. Good old Julia was the first to speak. “And so what happened?”

 
   “I think,” Carti said, “I need to finish my story another day.”

   Julia’s hand flailed, her eyes flashed, her voice filled the room. “I might have known. I might have known. . When?”

   “Next time we’re together.”

  
I might have known.”

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