Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Squirrels Do Not Make Good Pets

 We lived close to nature,  dependent on weather for vegetables,  relying on  animal reproduction for meat.  Sometimes the distinction between pet and dinner was thin. Often the distinction between pet and pest was thinner.
Cordell, whose mental acuity was short of sterling, took a shine to Ivy.  My ever present envy of Ivy, who was prettier and more popular than I, did not extend to Cordell and his attention to her.  Cordell in his attempt at blatant masculinity shot a squirrel, whose death left a nest of baby squirrels. He took it on himself to rescue the babies and to pedal them to neighbors who would raise them to squirrel adulthood.  Mommie reluctantly permitted Ivy to take one.
Ivy used her doll’s bottle to feed the baby squirrel who grew at an amazing pace. The distinction between pet and pest was quickly apparent. Ivy’s squirrel became master of the house, crawling under bed covers, raiding the food pantry and climbing the curtains with gymnastic agility. Mommie daily threatened  to kill the little pest if he did not learn how to behave.

How does a squirrel behave? Except like a squirrel?  Which he did. The final act—the act that did him  in— the act which was ordained by his squirrel-hood—came.  He not only at will climbed the curtains, but he sat on the curtain rod and nibbled at the curtains. Without any discussion of the situation, without any concern for the squirrel’s future,  Mommie removed him from the house and left him to whatever fate might befall him.

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