Even though Julia has been pushing at the edges of my consciousness, I have worked to keep her at bay. Thirty days ago I lost my life long partner. Tanaquil and Cartimandua seem to understand that I need time to come to terms with my loss. Both those regal ladies suffered losses, making them sympathetic to my thinking. Of course Julia had her share of losses too, but she does not seem as gentle. Just thirty days ago I was widowed. I have been working on my feelings of being widowed in the only way I know how. I do not cry easily. I do not rant and rave with abandon. I write.
This is what I have written in the past few days.
Thirty days
In a lifetime what is thirty days?
Everything if you're one year old
Nothing if you're eighty
An eternity if you've lost a life time partner
Thirty days
The empty chair across the dinner table
A bathroom sink free of shaving mess
Sleepless nights needing the gentle snoring noise
No response to "I wanted to tell you"
Thirty days
Fifty four years I lived and loved
How can thirty days be so long?
Julia would be proud.
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